Ten Life Lessons To Unlearn
At some point you may have learned to believe some of these lessons. You may even believe in them enough to live your life by some them. Or maybe you simply have not been challenged to question these lessons or disprove them.
Here for you to take in and interpret are ten life lessons to unlearn:
1. Problems are bad.
Think of your experiences that created your view of what a ‘problem’ is. School is typically our first structured experience in learning. It is where most of us first applied learned principals and concepts. School teaches problem solving of arbitrary things, typically with one correct answer or solution. We learn to avoid mistakes or risk failure, and many of us quickly learn that problems are just not fun.
Real problems, however, are opportunities to solve or work through life issues while gaining knowledge and learning solutions. Finding solutions enables learning opportunities and experiences that help solve, even avoid, future problems. Just like in school, the more we work through problems the better we get at solving them and the easier solutions will come.
2. It is important to stay happy
Continuous happiness is just not necessary for a person to feel good. Instead of focusing on trying to stay happy during moments of turbulence, remind yourself that it is ok to feel as sad or as upset as you need to be. It is easy to confuse feeling miserable as a warning sign of unhappiness, but granting yourself permission to feel stressed out is very liberating. Unless of course, you fail to release that stress, get over the turbulence, and move forward; which leads into the next lesson to unlearn…
3. I’m damaged by my past and can’t be fixed
Life is made up of many events that we interpret through our own belief systems. We each wear unique sunglasses, shaded by our own observations and experiences. Inevitably, many of us will experience unpleasant and painful events throughout life. These events leave us with permanent scars, bad pictures in our hearts, and negative interpretations that we carry through life. Stories we tell ourselves in our interpretations do not always match the facts of what is really going on.
Our interpretation of past experiences shapes who we are today. The past does not shape who we will become, unless we fail to release it. When we allow ourselves to reanalyze a misconceived belief, maybe by finding three reasons the belief is not true for example, we can immediately change our interpretations and the brain can and will let it go.
4. Working hard leads to success
Play, not work, leads to success.
Work is often something we do out of necessity. We begin on a path of extrinsic learning and develop the necessary knowledge and skills out of habit or repetition, not out of desire and passion. But when we are at play, we are much more interested with intrinsic development and naturally absorb a much broader range of ideas and knowledge through what we believe is enjoyable.
Think of being a child, building instincts, first-learning how to handle real-world situations. Observe the world with curiosity to find where your true passion and expertise lie and pursue a path to get there. Working hard does not always equate to success. If that were true, no one would ever say, “I work so hard and just can’t catch a break!”
Define your own success. What does success look like for you?
And on that note…
5. Success is the opposite of failure
By definition, ‘success’ is the correct or desired result of an attempt at something.
Fact:
We succeed to the degree we try, fail, and learn. This applies to anything from kicking a habit like smoking or drinking, to learning to ski or play a sport. Our success can only come through our effort, mistakes, learning, and improvements. When people worry about mistakes and failure, it leads to shutdown; paralysis by over-analysis. This has been proven in study after study.
Success is built on failure, and people who learn to overcome failure achieve success much easier than those who are consumed with worry over how they will prevent failing.
6. It matters what people think of me
“But if I fail…people will think less of me…”
I’m sorry, but no. Just no.
What other people think of you is frankly none of your business. The number of people who think you’re an idiot would likely surprise you; don’t take it personal. Let go and imagine how it would be if you did not care at all what people thought. That is the ultimate in liberation and freedom and a green light to be whoever you want and accomplish whatever you want.
What people think of you does not matter; ultimately they do not grant or take away your success.
7. We should think rationally about our decisions
Research has shown that the human mind’s rational capacities are actually more error-prone than our own “animal instincts”. Many complex problems can be solved by using basic instincts and thought processes.
For example:
Often times, the value of something goes far beyond the price tag. What makes something special to someone or makes a person feel happy cannot be determined through a basic review of an arbitrary dollar amount. When purchasing something and comparing two items, forget about the tangible pros and cons of the decision. Purchase what “feels” better. Use instincts and ease off the logical roadblocks. Observe the physical responses to each option and pay close attention to when the body tenses or relaxes.
And while we on the subject of bodies…
8. The beautiful people get all the good stuff
I’m sure everyone has an opinion on this, but this is nothing more than a story people tell themselves that is simply not true. Attractive people may get preferential treatment in some of life scenarios, but there is a cost. There is always a cost. In many ways, they may not even be seen for their talents or intelligence. They may end up being “lucky” enough to get hired for their breasts or jawline.
People who get through life solely using their physical appearance often get respect for the wrong reasons, and that’s if they get any at all. Some of them have coasted through life learning to gain off temporary (even artificial) beauty and fail to ever learn how to develop real talent and achieve actual results. And inevitably, life is all about results.
9. If I had all that I wished for, life would be perfect
If you want to believe this is true, simply take a look at people who seemingly “have everything”. Some of the richest, most successful, famous people end up in rehab clinics, divorce courts, jail, some even end up alone in the very end. We have all likely heard stories of lives that spiraled out of control upon coming into riches and wealth, eventually losing everything – even their mental health. Good fortune comes with side-effects.
Simply put, any external thing we depend on to provide “feel-good” also has the same power to swing emotions equally in the opposite direction. Stop depending on tangible rewards as a means of being happy. Instead, recognize and enjoy the happiness around you, stay focused on achieving your passion, and recognize the rewards that materialize. When a person’s true intentions are clear, a mechanism will appear to help you get to and achieve what is desired - almost like magic.
10. Loss is terrible
Like many of the lessons on this list, unlearning this lie can be done the easiest by adjusting an interpretation. For obvious reasons, the word “loss” is associated with negativity. It is the removal of something, or a sacrifice. Loss also teaches lessons and provides the backdrop for humans to get stronger. Loss can teach the heart and soul how to deal with breaking and healing, strengthening the mind in traveling a road to recovering. Do not lower your own value out of fear of loss and always live your truth knowing that you can and will deal with any situation if and when it ever presents itself.
Thank you for taking the time out to read this, I appreciate your support and hope to keep you coming back.
A thank you also goes to Martha Beck for providing the basis of this article in a post she did on The Huffington Post website. You can check out that post: here.
via Tumblr http://yourgreatness.tumblr.com/post/71910130947
At some point you may have learned to believe some of these lessons. You may even believe in them enough to live your life by some them. Or maybe you simply have not been challenged to question these lessons or disprove them.
Here for you to take in and interpret are ten life lessons to unlearn:
1. Problems are bad.
Think of your experiences that created your view of what a ‘problem’ is. School is typically our first structured experience in learning. It is where most of us first applied learned principals and concepts. School teaches problem solving of arbitrary things, typically with one correct answer or solution. We learn to avoid mistakes or risk failure, and many of us quickly learn that problems are just not fun.
Real problems, however, are opportunities to solve or work through life issues while gaining knowledge and learning solutions. Finding solutions enables learning opportunities and experiences that help solve, even avoid, future problems. Just like in school, the more we work through problems the better we get at solving them and the easier solutions will come.
2. It is important to stay happy
Continuous happiness is just not necessary for a person to feel good. Instead of focusing on trying to stay happy during moments of turbulence, remind yourself that it is ok to feel as sad or as upset as you need to be. It is easy to confuse feeling miserable as a warning sign of unhappiness, but granting yourself permission to feel stressed out is very liberating. Unless of course, you fail to release that stress, get over the turbulence, and move forward; which leads into the next lesson to unlearn…
3. I’m damaged by my past and can’t be fixed
Life is made up of many events that we interpret through our own belief systems. We each wear unique sunglasses, shaded by our own observations and experiences. Inevitably, many of us will experience unpleasant and painful events throughout life. These events leave us with permanent scars, bad pictures in our hearts, and negative interpretations that we carry through life. Stories we tell ourselves in our interpretations do not always match the facts of what is really going on.
Our interpretation of past experiences shapes who we are today. The past does not shape who we will become, unless we fail to release it. When we allow ourselves to reanalyze a misconceived belief, maybe by finding three reasons the belief is not true for example, we can immediately change our interpretations and the brain can and will let it go.
4. Working hard leads to success
Play, not work, leads to success.
Work is often something we do out of necessity. We begin on a path of extrinsic learning and develop the necessary knowledge and skills out of habit or repetition, not out of desire and passion. But when we are at play, we are much more interested with intrinsic development and naturally absorb a much broader range of ideas and knowledge through what we believe is enjoyable.
Think of being a child, building instincts, first-learning how to handle real-world situations. Observe the world with curiosity to find where your true passion and expertise lie and pursue a path to get there. Working hard does not always equate to success. If that were true, no one would ever say, “I work so hard and just can’t catch a break!”
Define your own success. What does success look like for you?
And on that note…
5. Success is the opposite of failure
By definition, ‘success’ is the correct or desired result of an attempt at something.
Fact:
We succeed to the degree we try, fail, and learn. This applies to anything from kicking a habit like smoking or drinking, to learning to ski or play a sport. Our success can only come through our effort, mistakes, learning, and improvements. When people worry about mistakes and failure, it leads to shutdown; paralysis by over-analysis. This has been proven in study after study.
Success is built on failure, and people who learn to overcome failure achieve success much easier than those who are consumed with worry over how they will prevent failing.
6. It matters what people think of me
“But if I fail…people will think less of me…”
I’m sorry, but no. Just no.
What other people think of you is frankly none of your business. The number of people who think you’re an idiot would likely surprise you; don’t take it personal. Let go and imagine how it would be if you did not care at all what people thought. That is the ultimate in liberation and freedom and a green light to be whoever you want and accomplish whatever you want.
What people think of you does not matter; ultimately they do not grant or take away your success.
7. We should think rationally about our decisions
Research has shown that the human mind’s rational capacities are actually more error-prone than our own “animal instincts”. Many complex problems can be solved by using basic instincts and thought processes.
For example:
Often times, the value of something goes far beyond the price tag. What makes something special to someone or makes a person feel happy cannot be determined through a basic review of an arbitrary dollar amount. When purchasing something and comparing two items, forget about the tangible pros and cons of the decision. Purchase what “feels” better. Use instincts and ease off the logical roadblocks. Observe the physical responses to each option and pay close attention to when the body tenses or relaxes.
And while we on the subject of bodies…
8. The beautiful people get all the good stuff
I’m sure everyone has an opinion on this, but this is nothing more than a story people tell themselves that is simply not true. Attractive people may get preferential treatment in some of life scenarios, but there is a cost. There is always a cost. In many ways, they may not even be seen for their talents or intelligence. They may end up being “lucky” enough to get hired for their breasts or jawline.
People who get through life solely using their physical appearance often get respect for the wrong reasons, and that’s if they get any at all. Some of them have coasted through life learning to gain off temporary (even artificial) beauty and fail to ever learn how to develop real talent and achieve actual results. And inevitably, life is all about results.
9. If I had all that I wished for, life would be perfect
If you want to believe this is true, simply take a look at people who seemingly “have everything”. Some of the richest, most successful, famous people end up in rehab clinics, divorce courts, jail, some even end up alone in the very end. We have all likely heard stories of lives that spiraled out of control upon coming into riches and wealth, eventually losing everything – even their mental health. Good fortune comes with side-effects.
Simply put, any external thing we depend on to provide “feel-good” also has the same power to swing emotions equally in the opposite direction. Stop depending on tangible rewards as a means of being happy. Instead, recognize and enjoy the happiness around you, stay focused on achieving your passion, and recognize the rewards that materialize. When a person’s true intentions are clear, a mechanism will appear to help you get to and achieve what is desired - almost like magic.
10. Loss is terrible
Like many of the lessons on this list, unlearning this lie can be done the easiest by adjusting an interpretation. For obvious reasons, the word “loss” is associated with negativity. It is the removal of something, or a sacrifice. Loss also teaches lessons and provides the backdrop for humans to get stronger. Loss can teach the heart and soul how to deal with breaking and healing, strengthening the mind in traveling a road to recovering. Do not lower your own value out of fear of loss and always live your truth knowing that you can and will deal with any situation if and when it ever presents itself.
Thank you for taking the time out to read this, I appreciate your support and hope to keep you coming back.
A thank you also goes to Martha Beck for providing the basis of this article in a post she did on The Huffington Post website. You can check out that post: here.
via Tumblr http://yourgreatness.tumblr.com/post/71910130947
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